Dad is driving the car, when the kids start getting ansy.  "Dad, we're hungry!  Can we stop and get something to eat?"  "Yeah, let's go to McDonald's!", the youngest says excitedly, wanting the newest toy.
    "Okay, kids!  I think I see the ol' arches now!", Dad says, in the typically sappy actor's voice.
    Looking closer as they park, Mom says, "Gee, it looks like they need a new sign...it's all grey!"
    The kids run into the building, hooting and hollering.  They stop in shock at what they see next.
    A large, shaggy brown creature comes shuffling over and asks, "Duh, may I take your order?"
    Mom and Dad look at one another, then order.  "Uh, yes, we'll have 3 Chicken Nugget Happy Meals, 2 Big Macs, and 2 orders of large fries."
    The giant hairball smiles, and Dad reads his nametag: Lurky.  'Weird name,' he thinks to himself.
    "Er, okay folks!  That'll be $40 please!"
    "$40!!!  That's highway robbery!", Dad yells, vowing to go to another restaurant instead.   However, the next restaurant is quite far off, and the kids INSIST on getting their Happy Meals.
     Reluctantly, Dad forks over $40, grumbling all the while.
     "'Kay, be right back!", Lurky says, turning and abruptly tripping over his own laces.
     Mom looks around at how filthy the place is.  "I know this isn't a five-star establishment, but this is ridiculous!", she says, looking at the littered tables, unmopped floors, and one of the kids trying to coax a kitty out from a dark corner....wait!  That's no cat!
     "Amy, get back!", Mom says, yanking the youngest child back from the overgrown rat, who promptly scurries away.
     About to leave yet again, they are stopped this time by the sudden silence as the banging and clattering in the back stops.
     Lurky comes back, messy and singed, holding forth a tray of food like it's a great treasure.  "Here's your food folks!", Lurky says proudly.  "Sorry for the wait!"
     Taking the tray, the family tiptoes through the filth and clears away a moderately cluttered table.
     The family prepares to dig in, but there are some problems.  Dad spits out his burger, looking totally disgusted.  "Ungh!  What IS this??", he says, reading the label.  'Big Murk', the wrapper reads.
     The kids are equally disappointed.  Their boxes are frowning!  They read, 'Unhappy Meal'.  Sure enough, the boxes are correct, for aside from the food, there aren't any toys!  The Chicken Nuggets, on closer inspection, are slightly fuzzy, and the box reads, 'Sprite Nuggets'. 
     "That's it!!", Dad yells, jumping up and barging towards the front.   Slamming his hand down upon the counter (and accidentally killing a giant roach at the same time), he yells at Lurky.
     "I DEMAND to speak with your manager!", Dad says, quite red.
     "Um..okay," Lurky says, backing off and running around the corner.  Not long after, a short green guy in a cheezy suit arrives.
     "What's wrong?!", the manager demands, his own nametag reading 'Murky'.  
     "I want my money back!  This is the WORST meal I've ever had!  I'll report you guys for the condition of this place!  It's atrocious!"
     Murky laughs.  "Lame-brain!  You got what you paid for!  You wanted the worst possible meal, and we gave it to you!"
     "Wha...?", Dad says, looking at the sign Murky is pointing to.   It says, 'Guaranteed the worst possible meal.  Either way, we keep the money.'
     Another sign outside reads: 'Over 20 served...and hospitalized!'
     "But...isn't this Micky-D's???", Dad asked, now totally confused.
     "Nope.  This is is Murky-D's!!", Murky chuckles. 
     Dad is lost.  Realizing he won't get his money back, he takes the family out, all of them sad or angry.
     Murky and Lurky come stand in the doorway.
     "Duh, bye!  Thanks for comin'!", Lurky shouts, waving.
     Murky laughs.  "Yeah, come again, chumps!", he says, leafing through the cash and gloating over how he actually got people to PAY to be gloomy!

-Matt *PK*