**********
Author: @nnimal
Rating: G, maybe PG for underage drinking
Category: Crossover fic (silly, too!), Humor
Disclaimer: Passing reference is made to some of George Lucas's
characters--they belong to him. Rainbow Brite belongs to
Hallmark. Master
Keith belongs to me & the Who. No money was made from this,
it was done
purely to amuse myself.
**********
An'Arie Luna was not the type of girl who just accepted things the way
they
were. From the moment of her birth she had been a bit of a rebel, not
one to
conform to what was expected of her. In fact, it was often said
that An'Arie
was more likely to do exactly what you *didn't* want her to do.
Despite these ingrained shortcomings, and a proclivity for sleeping
that
seemed unnatural to those who required 8 hours or less of the
activity,
An'Arie Luna was incredibly Force-sensitive. Her midi-chlorian
count didn't
rival Master Yoda's, but she had an uncanny ability to sense what was
going
on around her and respond to it. She was special enough that the
Jedi Knight
who stumbled across her on a routine trip to Corellia when An'Arie
herself
was a mere baby whisked the child away from her home world and took
her to
the Jedi Temple.
She'd been too small when she'd arrived at the Temple to really
comprehend
the differences between her old home and her new one. She didn't
notice that
her pretty pink baby rompers and bonnets and little booties were
replaced
with good, sturdy beige ones. She didn't notice that the nursery
where the
Healers kept an eye on her was all beige. She didn't notice that
the
training rooms and robes and dining halls and living quarters and
everything
else were beige.
It was so much a part of her life that it never occured to her to add
it to
the list of things to question.
Until that fateful day when An'Arie turned 13.
******
"Happy Birthday, An'Arie!"
/Sith, is he kidding? I don't care if it *is* my special day,
it's too early
to have someone burst into my room shouting greetings./
An'Arie opened one eye, rolled over, poked a skinny arm out from under
her
mountain of (beige) covers, and grabbed her (beige) chronometer off
the
(beige) bedside table. 11 o'clock.
/I always knew he was nuttier than a fruitcake. Oh well, I'm up
now, I might
as well humor him./
Because, sarcastic teenage attitude or not, An'Arie *loved* her
Master.
"Hiya, Master Keith!" An'Arie struggled to sit up, but
with 20 pounds of
beige Martha Stewart bedding on her, it wasn't easy.
"What's up?"
Master Keith, his hair still damp from the shower, flopped down on
An'Arie's
bed and gave his padawan a big hug. He smelled like spice--but
then, any
male Jedi who didn't just smell like plain old soap smelled like
spice. The
boutique in the Temple had a limited stock of bath products, and
everyone
took what they could get.
"I have a present for you, An," Master Keith said, putting a
large (beige)
box with a flouffy (beige) bow on the bed in front of her.
"Oh, gosh, Master Keith, this is awesome!" An'Arie said,
staring at the box,
trying to prolong the anticipation before she opened it. Her
friends
Stef-Ani and Mar'E were too cheap to buy her a present (not that
An'Arie was
much better, but she called it 'frugal'), so the gift from her master
was a
real treat to be savored.
"Go on, open it."
/Well, it's big, it's gotta be better than that stupid rock that Obi-Wan's
master gave him./
An'Arie dove at the box, and shreds of (beige) ribbon slithered onto
her bed,
mingling with those (beige) MS sheets.
"OH WOW, Master Keith, thank you!" An'Arie cried, as she
pulled her very own
set of drumsticks (which suspiciously looked like the same type of
wood as
the beige furniture in their living quarters) and a bottle of
something out
of the box. She held the bottle up closer to try and read the
label and
realized it must've been something special that Master Keith had made
up for
her.
/Hmmmm...probably shouldn't drink this unless I'm locked in this room
with
the shades drawn and all. Man, I love this guy./
"That's not all, hon," Master Keith said, a big smile
lighting up his face.
"Get ready 'cuz we're going out today."
"OUT?!?" An'Arie stared at Master Keith in awe.
He was truly the greatest
person she'd ever met.
For An'Arie Luna, at the age of 13, had not been out of the Jedi
Temple since
she'd arrived there as a baby. The Temple was pretty
self-contained, and all
her needs could be met within its walls, and after all, she was still
on the
young side.
Not that An'Arie was naive or *too* innocent. She did, after
all, read
Fabulous Naboo Pin-Up Boyz fan fic on the computers in the Temple
library
when she was supposed to be doing homework. And her master was a
26-year-old
man with the drum-playing, drink-mixing, party-throwing skillz of an
animal,
who at the same time had such a high midi-chlorian count and
Force-sensitivity that there had been whispers that he was the Chosen
One.
But now...now, she was 13 and had been chosen by a master and was
beginning
her Jedi training. And now, at last, she would step outside of
the Jedi
Temple and see what the world had to offer.
******
It didn't take An'Arie long to get ready. A quick shower and
even quicker
wardrobe selection ("Should I wear the beige or the beige?")
and she and
Master Keith were strolling towards the exit of the Temple.
Out into the great city-planet of Coruscant.
As soon as she was free of the bland beige-ness of the Temple, An'Arie
was
overwhelmed. Her senses were assaulted by the sounds and smells
and sights
of Coruscant. From the airspeeders swooping around overhead and
in front of
her, the smells of fatty, fried foods (for those *are* the best, mmm,
fried
chicken, yum) wafting out of the cafes and cantinas, to the huge,
glistening
golden towers of Coruscant.
But what amazed An'Arie most of all was that....there was no beige.
At first she thought her eyes were deceiving her. She squinted
and twisted
her head around and blinked a lot. She wondered if she should've
worn her
glasses. She even thought that the shock of being outside of the
Temple was
causing her to hallucinate.
"Master!"
"What's wrong, An?" Master Keith turned to look
sideways at her, concern
filling his big brown eyes.
"Master, there's something wrong with me--or with my eyes at
least." An'Arie
pressed her hands to her head, wondering if that would make the
strange
visions dancing before her go away. "Master, there's no
beige out here!
There's--there's COLOR!"
The last word was said almost reverently. She wasn't even sure
how she knew
what color *was*. After all, she'd lived without it for so long.
But
something deep within her--a memory, perhaps?--understood what she was
seeing.
/Whew, this kid needs to get out more. She's nuttier than a
fruitcake. What
a great padawan she'll be!/
His thoughts were interrupted by An'Arie's squeal. She had run
over to the
window of a big store called, appropriately, BigK, from whence came
all the
beige bath & bedding in the Temple.
"MASTER KEITH! Look! Master Martha Stewart makes
sheets and towels in
*colors*!" An'Arie turned to look at him. "Why
the hell do we have those
yucky beige ones when there are so many pretty patterns to choose
from?"
Master Keith ran a hand through his thick, dark hair as he
comtemplated the
gigantic display in the window. "You know, I *have* always
thought that blue
gingham would look great in the common area..."
And that's how their afternoon went: An'Arie running back and forth
across
the pathways, pointing out everything that tickled her fancy--a man
with
bright purple spiky hair; a yellow airbus; tunics in every shade and
hue
imaginable (and some that An'Arie would never have imagined in her
weirdest
dreams). And Master Keith running to keep up with her and
prevent her from
spending her credits on crazy, colorful things that would surely get
her
banned from the Temple.
"But Master Keith, why can't I dye my hair fire-engine red and
wear pale
green tunics and sleep on lavendar sheets?" An'Arie whined
when they were
sitting in a cantina where the language was slightly more colorful
than the
decor. When Master Keith wasn't looking, she took a sip from his
glass.
/Mmmmm, that's some good stuff. They don't serve *that* in the
Temple
cafeteria./
"An, honey, that's just the way it is. No passion, only
serenity. No color,
only beige." Master Keith sighed, took a swig from his
glass, and then
placed it on the table next to An'Arie's plate. He then
proceeded to look
the other way while she took another sip. "I guess it's
just one of the
things you have to accept as a Jedi."
"Well I think it sucks," An'Arie said mournfully.
"Oh, how I wish we could
have color in the Temple."
She and Master Keith were too intoxicated to notice that under their
table, a
little red dustbunny-that-wasn't-really-a-dustbunny giggled, and then
headed
for the door.
******
Romeo Sprite hurried back to RainbowLand as fast as his stubby little
sprite
legs could carry him. (Okay, he cheated and took an airspeeder
part of the
way, but no transports went all the way to RainbowLand, so he had to
rely on
his little sprite feet the rest of the way.)
"Oh, goodness, I have to find Rainbow Brite as fast as I can!
She's the only
one who can help that poor girl!"
Romeo made it to the outskirts of RainbowLand and rushed right past
Red
Butler's house. His Color Kid could wait; this was a matter that
required
Rainbow Brite's skills. Romeo dashed up to the castle and found
Rainbow
Brite sprawled on the floor with a coloring book and a big box of 64
Crayola
Crayons.
"Rainbow Brite! Rainbow Brite! Oh, thank goodness I
found you!" Romeo
cried, hurrying over so he was standing right in front of her.
Rainbow added just a hint more red to Strawberry Shortcake's hat, put
the
crayon she was using back in the box, closed the lid, and looked at
Romeo.
"What's the matter Romeo? Is someone in a Color
Crisis?"
"Oh, Rainbow, it's *horrible*! Children! Children,
and some grown-ups too!
Forced to live in a beige world!" Romeo shuddered as he
recalled the girl's
begging for something *not* beige to take back to that awful Temple
where she
lived. "They have nothing of color! Even their
toothbrushes are beige!"
"Wow," Rainbow said. "I didn't know they even
*made* beige toothbrushes.
This sounds like a real problem."
She walked over to the front door of the castle and called to her
horse.
"Starlite, quick! Run and get Patty O'Green and Buddy Blue
and Canary
Yellow! Hurry! We have a Color Crisis on our hands!"
Rainbow turned back to Romeo. "Quickly, Romeo! Go and
round up Red Butler
and La La Orange for me. Tell them to bring any Color Crystals
they have
stashed away. There's no time to waste!"
Romeo hurried out of the castle on little sprite legs and found Red
Butler at
home, playing poker with some of the other Sprites. Champ Sprite
seemed
reluctant to toss aside his visor and cards, but everyone else dashed
out of
the house before Romeo had a chance to catch his breath.
When everyone had gathered in front of the castle, even Tickled Pink
and Shy
Violet and Indigo, Rainbow Brite filled them in on the Crisis.
"We have no time to waste," she told the Color Kids and
their Sprites. "We
must grab all our Color Crystals and hurry to the Jedi Temple.
The people
there are suffering terribly!"
"End the tyranny of beige!" Buddy Blue hollered, pumping his
fist in the air.
"Save the Temple!" Patty O'Green added.
Rainbow Brite nodded proudly. "Okay, Kids, it sounds like
we're ready!
Let's go rescue the Jedi!"
And with great cheers and war-whoops, the Color Kids set off for
Coruscant.
******
"MASTER KEITH!"
/What the....? Huh? Must've been a dream, thought I heard
An'Arie yelling.
Such a distinctive sound, but no, it's too early, *I'm* still in bed.
She
can't be up....Can she?/
"MasterKeithMasterKeithMasterKeithMasterKeith!"
An'Arie yelled as she came
charging into his room. She jumped up on the bed--
--and that's when he noticed that somehow, his beige comforter had
been
replaced with a blue plaid one.
He could feel his jaw drop and struggled to look more dignified, not
that
An'Arie was noticing anyway. She was too busy running around the
room,
marveling at the spectrum of colors that seemed to have taken over
their
suite overnight.
He blinked a few times, pinched himself to make sure this wasn't a
dream, and
tuned back in to what An'Arie was saying.
"...and Mar'E says that her closet is *full* of pink tunics
and she's got
tons of body glitter in all these pretty colors and..." An'Arie's
voice faded
a bit as she left his room and went into the refresher.
"...MASTER KEITH!
Hair dye! Beautiful red *hair dye*!" She popped her
head back into the
room. "Can we, Master Keith? Can we?
Please?"
Master Keith sighed. "Sure, An," he called, fluffing
up his (light blue)
pillows so he could sit up in bed.
/7 a.m. and she's running around asking to dye her hair. Who'd
have thunk?/
He gazed around the room, taking in the world of color that surrounded
him,
still not quite believing what he was seeing.
In the corner of the room, a bright red dust-bunny winked at him
before
scurrying out the door on little sprite legs.
/Whew, maybe I should start laying off that bathtub hooch.
Or....maybe I
should go make up some more./
THE END
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